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Dialogues@RU is published
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Volume Two
Spring 2003

Walker's use of "characteristics" also illustrates to the reader that she is quite aware that her identity is multidimensional and that there is not just one characteristic that captures who she is. We can relate the idea of a multidimensional identity back to Smith and Watson's claim that "autobiographical subjects know themselves as subjects of particular kinds of experience attached to their social statuses and identities . . . in terms of many categories: gender, race, ethnicity, sexuality, nationality, class generation, family genealogy, etc." (25, 32). To expand on this statement, one can use Scott's claim that, "[a]s a result of movement across social and cultural roles, language becomes a vehicle for marking identity in those various worlds" (239). Both authors address that identity categories not only reflect seemingly natural, given characteristics of a person but they also reflect the diverse nature of our identity. Our identity consists not just of one role but multiple roles or multiple characteristics.

Our conscious choice to use certain identity categories to define ourselves also reflects a tendency to show which roles we give preference to or which most influence us. Alberto Melucci, author of The Playing Self: Person and Meaning in a Planetary Society , articulates this concept when he states, "Identity, then, is a process involving constant negotiation among different parts of the self, among different times of the self, and among the different settings or systems to which each of us belongs" (49). We can best understand this to mean that within an individual dwell multiple identities. These identities are not always present or made obvious unless they are called forth in certain contexts. In Melucci's example, context can include anything such as the physical setting around us, a certain time period in our life, or the familial, social, or educational systems that we are engaged in. Melucci further elaborates on his statement by using himself as an example: "As I act, my being never completely coincides with what I am doing. I choose and discard, I assign priority to some parts of myself over others, I remain partly unaware" (49). Melucci's claim is apparent in Walker's own experience. Since many of Walker's experiences took place in a critical time period in which interracial relationships and racial equality, charged topics in her society, were emerging, race is naturally a very influential factor in her life. Being born biracial, Walker involuntarily becomes a symbol for the movement for racial equality and crossing racial borders. In the case of Walker, the reader becomes aware, through her constant use of the terms "black," "white," "mulatto," and "Jewish," that Walker tends to assign priority to the racial aspect of her identity. This aspect of her autobiography may provoke the reader to question whether she is neglecting other important aspects of herself, such as her gender. For instance, feminist critics who claim that gender plays the underlying role in shaping a woman's autobiography may accuse Walker of not giving enough attention to gender in her life. An in-depth reading of Walker's autobiography lets the reader see that while gender is not the main theme in her life story, it is not an aspect she altogether overlooks. In fact, her struggle to find acceptance among the women in her life poses a challenge to many feminist theories.

One such theory that Walker's book challenges is that of feminist Sheila Rowbotham, described in Susan Stanford Friedman's essay "Women's Autobiographical Selves." Rowbotham asserts that "the very sense of identification, interdependence, and community . . . are key elements in the development of woman's identity" (Friedman 38). This quotation reflects the idea that women can only feel themselves to exist within a community of other women, mainly because they are subject, by their dominant white male counterparts, to being constantly defined as woman , "a category that is supposed to define the living woman's identity" (Friedman 38). The use of the term "community" has a positive connotation and leads the reader to believe that all women have a positive influence on each other. However, this sense of "community" along with its positive characteristics, is lacking in Walker's life. The words Walker employs to describe her relationship with other women tend to project an image of disunity and rejection. This rejection can be felt in Walker's description of her relationship with her great-grandmother. "I nod my head but still don't understand why great-grandma Jennie is always so angry, why she hardly ever looks at or talk to me. I feel invisible" (36). One would assume that a figure as important as a great-grandmother should play a positive role in one's life. In Walker's case, however, her white great-grandma cannot see past racial barriers to accept her own biracial great-granddaughter. Walker's father tries to justify his mother's behavior with the argument that Walker is "too young to understand." Walker's only response is "I am not too young to feel shut out" (36).

This sentiment of feeling "shut out" indicates that there is a sense of alienation present in Walker's autobiography, but it is not the alienation that arises from being caught under the label of "woman," as Rowbotham would argue; rather, it is alienation as a result of discrimination based on race. Another quote from Walker further illustrates this claim: "Years later, in junior high, when black girls named Susan, Donna, and Monique threaten to beat me up for 'acting like a white girl,' it is this attitude they must be talking about. I act like I am entitled to bliss, like I am not afraid of what the world has to offer" (41). In claiming that "women can move beyond alienation through a collective solidarity with other women" (Friedman 40), Rowbotham and other feminist theories fail to acknowledge that the source of alienation does not always come from men, but rather from other women themselves, particularly those blinded by racial discrimination, as in Walker's case. It is, thus, impossible for Walker to experience collective solidarity or a sense of community with other women if her interactions with them are primarily plagued by rejection. Since the basis of the rejection tends to be race, the reader can better understand why Walker gives priority to race, a more overpowering factor, than she does to gender.

In addition to reflecting our tendency to give priority to certain aspects of ourselves, our conscious employment of categorical labels reflects another universal concept. When Walker employs terms such as "black," "white," or "Jewish" to define herself, her writing reflects another basic universal human need that is interwoven in language. Categorical terms usually do not just describe a trait of an individual but rather a shared trait of a group. Therefore, when we use such terms to construct our identity we are reflecting the need to belong to or be part of a group. Melucci writes that "our personal unity, which is produced and maintained by self-identification, rests on our membership in a group and on our ability to locate ourselves within a system of relations" (29). The need to feel that one belongs is most definitely essential to our feeling of "personal unity" and is therefore the reason we often tend to develop a social identity. In contrast to Smith's argument that we come to know ourselves on the basis of how we differ from others, social identity is molded on the attempts to relate ourselves to others or, simply put, to fit in. Initially, when Walker's parents are still together, there is no focus on the differences between races, and she is not pressured by the issue of defining herself. The need to define herself within an articulated category does not come until her parents separate, and the "real world begins to bleed into the margins of their idealistic love" (59). However, the most obvious turning point comes when she is discriminated against for the first time:

Bryan Katon, the boy that I like, tells me that he doesn't like black girls, and I think, with this big whoosh that turns my stomach upside down and almost knocks me over, is that what I am, a black girl? And that's when all the trouble starts, because suddenly I don't know what I am and I don't know how to be not what he thinks I am. I don't know how to be a not black girl. (69)

From there on, Walker's autobiography reflects her continuous struggles to define herself within an articulated group. At first, she attempts to define herself as "white" going on the basis of other people's interpretation of "white." Then, she struggles to define herself as "black" by mimicking actions and talk that others illustrate as being inherently "black." Each of Walker's attempts to define herself within an articulated category meets with failure and an ultimate feeling of isolation. It is not until she reflects back on these struggles while composing her autobiography that Walker realizes that most of her attempts to construct an identity were based on other people's interpretations of what black, white, and Jewish should mean to her. Walker writes, "It is jarring to think that most my life I have been defined by others, primarily reactive, going along with the prevailing view" (74). Thus, here we see another downfall to the objective nature of language. By allowing others' opinions to take precedence over our own, we take a passive role in the creation of our identity. This becomes especially dangerous if most of the words used to define us are negative or confining, as in the case of Walker. It is very hard to reverse the effect once somebody internalizes certain words used to define their whole existence or image. American psychiatrist Thomas Szasz effectively captures the importance of the individual taking an active role in giving meaning to his or own identity when he states, "In the animal kingdom, the rule is, eat or be eaten; in the human kingdom, define or be defined" (Andrews, "language").

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